I haven't posted it on my blog, but I think pretty much everyone knows that we are having a baby. Baby H will arrive in April. We are super excited!
How am I feeling? Today has been a so so day. There was a week where it seemed like I was going to the bathroom to get sick constantly. One time I was just yawning and the next thing I knew I was up and over the toilet. No smells cause me to, but yawning does?? Maybe too much info there, but hey that's my life lately. I think what is worse than the getting sick part is my sciatic nerve and the pain that it is causing. It isn't too bad in the mornings, but by the afternoon especially on very trying days at work I am in major pain by the time I get home. The other night I woke up after midnight in so much pain and nothing was helping so into the bathtub I went. It gave me enough relief to go back to sleep. But despite all of that I am trying to enjoy this while it lasts. I think my energy level is slowly rising....that's a plus right? I am ready for Wednesday, we get to hear the heart beat! It will also be nice to leave work 2 hrs early....hey I am being honest here. There isn't really else I can think of off the top of my head about changes because I am pregnant.
Well there is one that I am not proud of and that is usually I am well composed person especially when conflict comes my way. I can usually just hold my tongue until I have something constructive to say, but it has been really hard lately and instead of thinking I just speak my mind with out rewording it. The good/bad thing is I am pretty good about controlling it at work, but not around friends and family. I don't know if that is part of being pregnant or if that is just from the stress of this last month. I think I reached an all time stress high last week and now I am trying to distress. I would love to just getaway from everything for a weekend....to bad Shawn works this weekend. I could seriously jump in the car and go just for a day or two away from everything.
This school year has started out pretty tough for me. I have 3 new students in my classroom along with 3 returning. I was able to learn a few things about 2 of my new students during summer school, but it has been adjustment for everyone. One big adjustment is they went from 3 hrs a day to all day. One of my para's was pretty much gone the first 3 weeks of school so some days we were able to get a sub and some we weren't. And when we can't get a sub there is no lunch, and the only break we get is to hurry up and go potty and sometimes it was like that with a sub. Some subs are awesome and some it just feels like you are trying to ease their uneasiness or telling them no more times than a student.
I try to remember that what I do, not everyone can do, and when someone walks into the classroom and sees my students that it can be very intimidating, especially if one is already in the middle of a melt down. There was one though that said she signed up because she thought it was going to be an easy sit down job and she could wear jeans. Ha, was she in for a surprise! I don't think she will ever sign up for my class again and that was probably one of my top days of the year , we had 1 meltdown that day and it was in the afternoon on the way to the bus.
I can say that through it all I have been blessed with an awesome principal and vice principal that came down daily to make sure I didn't need anything and for staying on top of the situation. This week has been a pretty good week at work. The kids pretty much have the routines down which has helped with most of the behavior issues. (go figure!) I have one student I am still trying to figure out, this student just picks a person and goes after them biting, scratching, and hitting. This student I have already seen progress in and I can't wait to see where they are at the end of the year. I just wish we could be past the biting, scratching, and hitting part. We had picture day last week and my picture will have a huge scratch down my nose and above my eye. Lovely huh?
I remember coming home the first part of last year and crashing for an hour or two in the afternoon, but this year there are days that as soon as M'Kambrie is gone about 5:30 I am out for the rest of the night. I think though that in a couple more weeks I will have a little more energy and not be so drained after work. Even though I have a tough group this year, I love them to pieces and each one of them daily make me smile through and through!
So enough about me.... What's Shawn been up to?
Working and taking care of me. He has done an awesome job this past month. Like I said sickness, pain, and the stress of work has wore me out. The other night I started cooking dinner and just couldn't stand up for long with out getting sick so he took over and I was on the couch bawling because I felt so helpless and what kind of wife was I that I couldn't cook dinner and he is the one cooking most of the time now or fending for himself. Even though he kept saying it was okay, it definitely did not feel okay at the time. He is a keeper and I couldn't imagine anyone else by my side right now! Heck there are times I don't know if I could stand to be around me.... I know that sounds awful right? But really other than love I don't know how a person could stay around a person that is getting sick a lot and barely moving because of back, butt, and leg pain.
I just realized this post might sound kind of down, but I am
really happy right now despite some of my surroundings. It has just worn me out and I am so ready to bounce back and slowly am!
I am sooo grateful for my amazing parents, sister, and brother. They along with Shawn have helped me take my mind off things on the weekends and sometimes during the week. My mom has been my sounding board through all of this and during one of my worst moments when I was doubting myself majorly a couple weeks ago she set me straight when I needed it. I can honestly say my mom was not my best friend growing up she was my mom and I don't mean that in a negative way don't get me wrong she was there for me whenever I needed her, but she didn't care about being on the in-crowd with us. She along with my dad cared about guiding and setting us in the right direction, but somewhere in my teenage and early adult years she became more and more a friend and now is not only my mom but a best friend. I couldn't imagine my life with out especially this last month...even with all the crazy baby talk :).
