It's here!

It's finally my birthday! So lastnight, I didn't come home and crawl in bed and cry myself to sleep. I came home, still kind of mad and decided I did not want to be at home by myself and I needed a new vacuum filter. I figured Meghan would go with me so I headed over to my parents and talked/cried to my dad about everything and then when my mom got home I talked/cried to her and then I was bound and determined not to let everything that had taken place earlier that day to completely ruin it all. Then lastnight before I went to bed, I checked my email and I had a wonderful email that my Aunt Peggy had sent to me on Wednesday and it made me feel so special that I cried but those were not tears of anger or hurt. I think this whole birthday experience this year is just to new to me and a great lesson. I guess the days before it and today itself is just all together different. But, it just makes me smile and realize how thankful I am in an odd awkward way. I guess in some ways, I still am naive and think that the world isn't has bad as I think it is and then it is shown to me. It is almost like a whole other awakening. I think a day in 7th grade was my first big awakening to this world. It would probably be the day that I realized hey not everybody is Christian, and not everybody worships God, and some people even go as far as worshiping the devil. You might be thinking 7th grade? Didn't you know that before hand? Well ya, I heard it at church, from my parents, the news, and other sources. But when I seen a guy with devil worshiping jewelry on and it written on his books I couldn't believe it. Then I guess the years following after that, I just never understood why people go out and do things like drinking to get wasted all the time, drugs, or whatever else. But I also had parents that talked openly about everything and other extended family members that were practically walking warning posters to myself. I never wanted to do that and It still doesn't appeal to me. I think sometimes by me not showing interest in things like that makes me a target because people (who obviously don't know me that well) automatically think that something is wrong with me. Like my bachelorette party and Shawn's bachelor party is actually that because we didn't have strippers. Or you don't go to the club every weekend or you have never been here or there? Why or how that was work related and brought up at a meeting I will never know? Well speaking of work I am suppose to be there in 15 minutes and I still have to blow dry my hair! By the way today's proverbs 31 devo is awesome! And if you ever read girl talk there is a post on a personal retreat and I think I am going to do that next weekend. Anyways, I better go! Thanks for caring and loving me as I am!

Toodles~

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!